"Our Lord forged your life, shaped you, made you within me."
Just as children are a gift to parents, parents are a gift to children. God creates our souls and forms our bodies, and our parents are the vessels through which He gives us life. He chooses our parents specifically for us...He gives us to each other.
The parent/child relationship can be...difficult. Most especially when we are teenagers. They won't let you wear the clothes you want, hang out with the friends you want, see the boy you like, watch the movies, etc., etc., etc. They place so many restrictions on us, give us so many rules, it seems that they really just "don't get it." But they do. They were teenagers too. The world has changed since they were young, but the rules that parents give their teenagers haven't much. Neither have the reasons. No, it's not because they want to make us miserable. To put it simply, it's because they love us. They want to protect us.
In the book When God Writes Your Love Story, by Eric and Leslie Ludy, Eric talks about God's "father-heart", how he cherishes and adores us, that he is only interested in our "highest good", and that God knows him better than he knows himself. He goes on to say that he had trouble trusting God because he "didn't truly know His nature and character". God is our Father, the Creator of our souls, and just as he cherishes us with his "father-heart", our parents cherish us. They only want what is best for us. We don't know what it's like to be a parent, we can't truly understand them or why they make the decisions that they make because we've never been their position. We just have to trust that they have our best interest at heart.
Unlike God, though, our parent's love isn't perfect. Sadly, they don't always do their duty or fulfill their responsibility to their children. They are supposed to protect us, provide for us, love us, and sometimes, they don't. But it doesn't matter. In Ephesians 6 it says "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother.' This is the first commandment with a promise, 'that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on earth.'" Proverbs 30: 17 says that "The eye that mocks a father, or scorns an aged mother, will be plucked out by the ravens in the valley; the young eagle will devour it." This last one is kind of...intense, but it get the point across: despite their weaknesses and flaws, our parents need and deserve our respect because it's what God commands and desires.
We, of course, cannot accept abuse in any form from our parents, but the vast majority of us are loved by them. In most cases, they are trying their hardest to do what they truly believe is best for us. If we can really just accept and appreciate this, then it might be easier to forgive them their faults and overlook some of the things they do that irritate us.
I've been very lucky with my parents. They've always provided everything that I needed and most things that I wanted (without really spoiling me). Though I don't know what exactly, I do know that they've done so much for me, sacrificed so much. I know I don't always show my appreciation to them, but I do always feel it. We've had our problems (I'm sure I've been a bit of a hand full from time to time), but for the most part, I feel that we've had a pretty good and open relationship. Of course, I get frustrated with them, just as they get frustrated with me. Something I've come to realize, though, is that a great deal of this frustration comes from a recognition of ourselves in each other. I believe this is true of most parent/child relationships. We see our parents in some of the things we say, think, and do. I'm not sure how it started, but for some reason this is terrifying and usually rather appaling. We swear we won't be like our parents, but, inevitably, similar characteristic surface. So we try to distance ourselves from them, whether physially, emotionally, or both. Likewise, parents see characteristics in us that they possess, or possessed when they were younger. Parents want their children to be better then they are or were, have better lives, and I think when they recognize some of their own weaknesses in their children they become frustrated and perhaps a little pushy because they don't want their children to make the same mistakes they made. They want their children to be better.
It's kind of lengthy, so I won't post the whole thing, but Sirach 3: 1-16 is a wonderful passage on "Duties toward Parents". I will, however, put the last few verses here as a closing...
"My son, take care of your father when he is old: grieve him not as long as he lives. Even if his mind fail, be considerate with him: revile him not in the fullness of your strength. For kindness to a father will not be forgotten, it will serve as a sin offering--it will take lasting root. In time of tribulation it will be recalled to your advantage, like warmth upon frost it will melt away your sins."
Love and prayers
(My mom is probably reading this with tears in her eyes...and she'll probably be upset with me for saying that)
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