"Let it be done unto me according to Your Will"
When the angel Gabriel came to Mary in the Annunciation she said "yes", despite the fears she must have felt, the looks, scorn, and anger she knew she would face...the eventual sorrow she would experience. She accepted God's will above her own. When I pray I ask God for the understanding and obedience to do the same...if only I really did.
In CLC last night we had a reflection and discussion on Mary's "yes" and our own yeses. I've always had a special love for Mary. God speaks to me very quietly in my heart, though I often wish for outward signs because it's difficult to distiguish His voice from my own...and at times Satan's. But Mary brings my soul peace when I pray for her intercession or contemplate her life and holiness. I know God is speaking to me when I have that peace.
Today is the Feast of St. Gabriel, the Archangel and tomorrow is the Feast of the Annunciation. How fitting that they go hand in hand. Today we celebrate the messenger who, chosen by God from among all of the angels, came to Mary to announce the birth of the Son of God. Tomorrow we celebrate that coming and Mary's "yes" to God choosing her from all women to have the Word within her very body. She literally embodied holiness so fully that God became flesh in her.
As I'm nearing the end of my college career, I'm becoming more and more terrified of the future. What if I can't find a job? What if I do get a job and I fail? Are the choices I'm making now for my future the right ones, will they bring me closer to God and help me to accomplish His will for me? There are so many questions to worry about, to stress over...but I need to remember that little saying from my Kairos retreat years ago...Let Go, Let God. I have to say yes. I need to stop being afraid of the future, of the responsibility, of the potential failure. I need to trust in God, as Mary did thousands of years ago, that He will be with me in every step that I take, that He will guide me in everything, that even if I fail, even if I am ridiculed by others for my choices, I embraced my fiat.
Mary excepted Christ into her heart and body and then gave him to the world. Even though she was a mother, a mother with a child she loved with her whole heart, she gave him to the world, to his death, for God's mercy for all of humanity. I pray that she is with me when God asks for my fiat and that with her help I can live in Christ and him in me.
Love and prayers
