Steubie

Steubenville Youth Conference...looked forward to all year by youth groups everywhere. This year was a different experience for me. I felt heavier then in the past. I don't want to say burdened, that doesn't fit at all. But my heart was heavy. Heavy with worry, disappointment, and sadness. I was worried about my spiritual life, the draught I'd felt for quite some time. Worried that I wouldn't be the leader and model I was expected (perhaps mostly by myself) to be. Disappointed in myself for slipping like that. Sad and concerned that I felt as if God wasn't with me. My soul felt alone. It sounds like I was burdened doesn't it, oh well. It's not as if everything was bad. I was surrounded by people I loved and who loved me. I was doing things and working in ways I knew would help me find my path in life. In a lot of ways, my life fell into place. I could see further down my path then ever before. I had so many moments of happiness, fun, and love, but my soul was still alone. I lacked joy.

That's the beauty of Steubie:) Spending that time with young, energetic people, desiring knowledge of God, their faith, and the Church is revitalizing. My spirituality is different from theirs', but they never fail (well rarely) to remind me of my goal and my desire. A weekend like that forces me to refocus my life.




On the bus with some of the incredible adults who serve as awesome models of faith for me





With one of the teens and a young adult in the midst of the conference


Love and prayers

Spending Time Out in the Country

Gabe and I spent part of the 4th of July weekend here in St. Louis, part in Fulton, and then the rest in Kansas City. It was a really awesome few days. We went to a pool party at a family friends' house so Gabe got to meet a lot of people who have been a part of my life since the 1st grade. On the fourth we headed out to his place outside of Fulton.

I really love being out in the country. Everything is so peaceful. Life is simple. There's quiet. Everything seems to move at a slower pace. It's easier just to find God in everything around you. At night we set off fireworks in the yard...something you can't really do in the suburbs. Gabe lives on top of a slight hill so we could see fireworks from Fulton, Columbia, and all the neighbors. They said it wasn't as impressive as it has been in the past...people being economical or some nonsense...but I was still quite impressed. The next day we went to Gabe's friend's house for a pool party and bbq. I love swimming, there's just something about chlorine:)

Anyway...after the party we took off for KCMO. Good ol' Rockhurst. Gabe was taking a couple of classes this summer, as was I, so we both had some homework to get done. We headed on on his birthday, July 7th, but as a present I took him out to Cheesecake Factory the night before for some wine and dessert. Goodness it was delicious! And extremely filling. It was a lot of fun though. Then we returned to the site of our first date...sweet I know:)

It was over all a pretty solid holiday weekend filled with relaxation, fun, and family (as if everything is filled with family for me).

Independence Day

I really love the 4th of July. I love this nation and I know I'm truly blessed to have been born here and given all of the opportunities I have. Unfortunately so many have lost sight of all that we've been given, of all God has given us.

In the 1946 Independence Day Oration John Fitzgerald Kennedy stated that "[t]hroughout the years, down to the present, a devotion to fundamental religious principles has characterized American thought and action." He reminded the people that a deep religious sense inspired the authors of the Declaration of Independence and our earliest legislation..."Congress shall make no law prohibiting the free exercise of religion." He quoted our first president, Washington, who said that "of all of the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, religion and morality are indispensable supports." Kennedy continued saying that "[t]oday these basic religious ideas are challenged by atheism and materialism: at home in the cynical philosophy of many of our intellectuals, abroad in the doctrine of collectivism, which sets up the twin pillars of atheism and materialism as the official philosophical establishment of the State. Inspired by a deeply religious sense, this country, which has ever been devoted to the dignity of man, which has ever fostered the growth of the human spirit, has always met and hurled back the challenge of those deathly philosophies of hate and despair. We have defeated them in the past; we will always defeat them."

Unfortunately, these philosophies that Kennedy spoke so strongly against in '46 have persisted and grown. I truly believe in freedom. Freedom to choose what is right over what is wrong, to choose the good over the evil. We will not be slaves to our desires and whims, to culture and it's malefic force. I believe there is one true faith, but I still love our freedom as Americans of religious expression. However, those "philosophies of hate and despair," under the guise of freedom, have taken it to a place it was never meant for. Today, society tells us that expressing our beliefs and disagreeing with others is offensive and unjust...religious expression is being suppressed for the sack of religious freedom? Belief in God is natural to human beings, but imperfection, weakness, and pride are also natural. We must pray and work against the evil that we can be used for.

"Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty. It was the price yesterday. It is the price today, and it will ever be the price. The characteristics of the American people have ever been a deep sense of religion, a deep sense of idealism, a deep sense of patriotism...Let us not blink the fact that the days which lie ahead of us are bitter ones. May God grant that, at some distant date, on this day, and on this platform, the orator may be able to say that these are still the great qualities of the American character and that they have prevailed."
Independence Day Speech 1946, John F. Kennedy

Love and prayers