I'm Thankful For...

my family, the beginning and end for me.

Emily and Jenny, my soulmates, everything we've been through and everything we will go through...together.

every single one of my Rockhurst friends, for making me laugh and just being there for me when things are tough.

Cindy, down in Campus Ministry, for making me take care of myself and being someone I can relate to in so many aspects of life.

My Rosati friends, even though we don't see or talk to each other as often as we should, I know that they are always there. Also just for being the strong, loving women that they are...we helped to make each other who we are.

for Rockhurst. For the opportunities this school has given me for an education, for finding out who I am and what I believe, and to do what I want most...serve.

for my oldest friend in the world, Michelle, my sister in everyway but blood.

for the youth group. The teens bring so much joy and light into my life, and AYM has brought me some truly beautiful friendships.

for Gabe, who helps me to see more clearly who I want to be, and really, just makes me happy.

for my home. I know that it's more than many have, and I'm grateful every day for it, as well as the ability we have to share it.

for my home parish and the network that has been built up around us these past few months, I can't even begin to tell you what a blessing it has been.

for the rain that makes everything clean again and makes the sun shine a little brighter.

for time. Time to appreciate each other and everything we've been given. Time to do what we can. Time to become more giving and loving than ever before. Time to follow our dreams and our hearts. Time to grow and become the best-versions-of-ourselves, living saints.

for my faith. The most important thing in my life. The speck of light that keeps me fighting through the darkness. My strength and my guide.

...all this and so, so much more. Take an honest look at life and appreciate all the beauties held in it.

Love and prayers
Sarah

Fall at Rockhurst

This fall has been crazy. I feel like I haven't done much, but at the same time I feel as if I haven't had time to do anything. CLC has become an even bigger part of my life this semester. I am absolutely in love with the group I'm a member of...the Creepers Loving Christ. Don't ask:) Our meetings are such a calming time for me and it just gives me an opportunity to talk about things that are on my mind and heart that don't normally get talked about. Plus for some reason I can't seem to control my laughter during our meetings, which may be annoying to the others (and I'm sorry if it is) but it feels wonderful to me. Pretty much anyone could tell you that my life doesn't lack laughter, but the Creepers just take it to a whole new level. Then there's the group I started leading this semester. It's made up of freshmen so we're all just getting to know each other right now. It's very different leading a group as opposed to just being a member and I'm still trying to get it all figured out, but my CLC babies are really wonderful and open people. I can't wait to get to know them each better and really build our little community. We also had our CLC retreat not too long ago. It was a really wonderful night with some incredible talks that helped me put certain things in my life into a little better perspective.

I've been spending a lot of time trying to plan for next semester. Not with school really, but a couple of trips I'll be taking and finances :/ I think I might have to try and find a job for when I'm at school...after all, I do need to buy food and other essentials. Ugh, if only I had work study! Oh well, things will work out I'm sure.

There have been a bunch of birthdays among my friends the past couple of months (mine included). It's been such a blast. We're all turning 21 this year so yeah...great times are being had.

There was, of course, the annual Pasta and Prayer Pumpkin Carving meditation, a favorite of everyone, looked forward too the year 'round. Molly and my pumpkin, Victoria, was of course the best...

unfortunately the squirrels decided to make a snack of her.



Halloween was craziness. Molly and I dragged Gabe out to drive us around for the night, though I don't think he minded too much:) We went to Westport where we met up with a couple other friends and just had a good time. We ended up back at Gabe's house with him and another friend, Ken, and more ridiculousness ensued. Three words: Sexy Zebra Ninja. I won't put the picture up because Molly would hate me, but use your imagination...and know that it's not NEARLY as good as reality.


Anyway, that's all for now, don't want this to get too long. I hope you're all enjoying the beautiful colors of fall. Campus is gorgeous this time of year...the trees are just beautiful and the leaves are such fun to play in:) and gotta love sweater weather.


Love and prayers
Sarah

Servant

Lord, teach me to be generous.
Teach me to serve You as You deserve;
to give and not to count the cost,
to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek for rest,
to labor and not to ask for reward,
save that of knowing that I do Your will.

~St. Ignatius' Prayer for Generosity

I recently found out that I'll be going to New Orleans for a service immersion trip over Christmas break...I'm SO EXCITED! I've wanted to go on one of the service trips here since freshmen year, but just haven't been able to. This year, though, it's finally the right time. I was actually really nervous after the interview, and my letter took forever to get here since I live in a house and not in a dorm so I was freaking out when everyone else got their's. But it finally came and I got the trip I wanted so badly.

I love doing service. I love working with people and helping people...I just cannot wait!!!

A Beautiful and Blessed Day

This past weekend I came home for a wedding, my cousin Kara's. It was a beautiful day in and of itself, weddings always are, but this particular one was especially wonderful. When Kara was young she was diagnosed with Leukemia. I, and I'm pretty sure the rest of my family, never really dared to imagine this day would come. But it did, it was our own little miracle. Kara was absolutely gorgeous and she and Johnny looked so happy. It was a day that not only celebrated these two people's love and commitment to each other, but also the gift of Kara's life and the memory of those who lived and died.

More than this though, the wedding was a triumph for my dad. He's a deacon and hasn't been able to carry out his ministry since he became sick. But he returned to the alter for this beautiful day. It was emotional and nerve racking and wonderful. It was a day truly blessed by God.

It was full of surprises, too, including a visit from FredBird! (probably the most tame of the surprises)

And of course loads of pictures...

(the girls)

Love and prayers

An Incredible Weekend

Last weekend was a big one for Rockhurst...as least as far as my friends and I are concerned. Friday night was the ADG's annual Toga party and Saturday was Homecoming. We love to dance, maybe that's a part of the reason our friendships work, we all have the same love of dressing up and cutting loose on the floor. Most of us anyway...Annie is sort of an oddball. We had all been talking about these two days for weeks! Not exaggerating. The boys, of course, we're all consumed with Toga (since it is their fraternity), and the girls, well, we're girls.

At the beginning of the week I got a text that only made my excitement for the weekend and the weekend itself all the more incredible...Jenny was coming to visit!!! I can't begin to explain how excited I was. It's unfathomably difficult for us to be apart. We know that we're where we need to be at this point in our lives, but still, we just want that place to be the same.

So Jenny came in on Friday evening and we all scrambled to get ready for Toga in time. It was a fantastic night. The boys threw a great party and did pretty well with the dance (considering the new choreographers).

Saturday afternoon Jenny and I sat on our porch swing for a couple of hours just talking. It was lovely. I miss sitting with Jenny (and Emily) talking about everything and nothing. Then we walked to Go Chicken Go for lunch. It was our first experience and well worth it!

Then came the mad rush to get ready for Homecoming! It really wasn't that mad, and I, for a change, was ready early! Which is good because when we got to the buses I realized I had left our tickets at home and had to run for it. ResLife took us out for a DELICIOUS dinner with a gorgeous dessert, and I won an iPod Touch!!! It was a wonderful start to the night. The dance itself was a blast and afterwards a bunch of us made a Sonic run for limeades. We just hung out at my house for a while and eventually Casablanca was put in.




It was just another crazy, incredible weekend at the Rock

Love and prayers

I Daily Choose...

I've been looking for a reason/I've been longing for a purpose/I'm losing all my meaning/I've run out of excuses.
Lord, it's hard to know You/I don't always see Your plan/But holiness is calling me so take me as I am.
You are my everything/You are the song I sing/I'll do anything for You/Teach me how to pray/to live a life of grace; I'll go anywhere with You/Jesus, be my everything.
Lord, I get so tired of the struggle within/I settle in complacency and I'm weighed down in my sin.
So lead me past emotion 'cause they change with the wind/I want to be a true disciple/To daily choose Your hand.

Jesus, My Everything - Matt Maher

I was just sitting on my bed studying for my World Religions test tomorrow when this song began to play. I've been thinking a lot about confession recently. I don't know what it is exactly, maybe I'm becoming more aware of my need to go as a Catholic, or my need to go as a very flawed human being, or maybe it's just the process of the actual act of confessing, but the sacrament of confession has been consuming my thoughts for weeks.

The other day I was walking down the street with a friend and she said something about "us", something about our faith and the way we live it out. What she said was like a stab to my heart, a blow to my spirit...though a necessary one. What she said spoke to my heart, letting me know that I'm failing. My faith is a burning passion within me, but I'm not doing enough to show this. I'm not the example of spirituality that I long to be. I thought people knew of my faith, but my friend didn't seem to be aware that it goes beyond my campus ministry and youth group activities, that it penetrates almost every aspect of my life and that I long for it to penetrate EVERY aspect. I know she didn't mean what she said as any sort of insult or challenge to my faith, but it was and is a challenge. I've become complacent and I've let my pride have reign.

Lord, I get so tired of the struggle within/I settle in complacency and I'm weighed down in my sin

As the above song played, I found that I could no longer concentrate on my notes on Hinduism. Confession was all I could think of, it was all I longed for. I live right next door to the Jesuits, and I was about ready to jump up, run over there, and beg for someone to take my confession. The only thing that stopped me was feeling that there is something about my sin that I'm not fully comprehending. I want to truly understand the things that are on my heart so that I can make a good and complete confession.

I want to be a true disciple/To daily choose Your hand

It's time to renew my faith, to lose myself again in Him. It's time to make myself uncomfortable, to challenge myself to daily choose Him.

Love and prayers

p.s. Hi Molly! You're beautiful!

My Family and A Celebration of My Life!

Last weekend, just a random weekend in September, I went home. My brother, Ben, who is a senior at Notre Dame University, was home visiting for the weekend. We weren't all supposed to be home again until Thanksgiving, but I knew how much it would mean to my parents (and to me) for us all to spend a little time together at this point...so I made a surprise visit. My siblings all knew I was coming, but my parents did not. It had been a rough day for them, especially my mom, who had gotten some bad news about a friend that morning, and they were shocked but so happy to see me. My mom of course started to cry. It was a short trip, I got in on Saturday night and left Sunday evening, but it was my favorite trip home from the past two and a half years. I love spending time with my family, and of course I visited with the teens a little bit. They bring such joy to my life...even if they are being pushy :P They never fail, in their own ways, to be reflections of God's love in my life and remind me of my desire to be such for others.

My siblings and I with our dad...you'd never know we were related by looking at us, would you?

This past Friday was my 21st birthday!!! It was such fun. It was Rockhurst Day so we all went to the celebrations on Lower Bourke. I got to go to the Hospitality Tent for the first time, and I can't tell you how much cotton candy I ate. It was wonderful. My friends of course never fail in embarassing me, like by singing Happy Birthday at the top of their lungs for about a hundred people to hear. We enjoyed the Rockhurst soccer game for a bit, and watched Kyle and Ken being presented at halftime with the rest of the homecoming court. Afterwards some people came over to our house for a little birthday celebration. We ate so much chocolate, it was ridiculous...but delicious. It was such a fun night, I can't think of a better way, or a more fitting way for my friends and I, to celebrate my birthday. It was made all the better by Ken and Gabe's antics after everyone else had gone home or to bed. Hilarious!

Yesterday, my mom, one of my aunts, Marcia, and a cousin, Lindsey, came from St. Louis to visit and celebrate. It was wonderful to see them and hang out. We got some supplies for me and then spent the rest of our time at the Plaza. My cousin Steve also joined us for a bit. I think it was really wonderful for my mom to get away from St. Louis for a little while, she so deserves a little break from life. I'm so grateful to Marcia and Lindsey for coming too. I loved seeing them and I know my mom needed them with her on the drive. They didn't get to go on a tour of campus like they wanted, but they seemed to really like what they did see of Rockhurst and of Kansas City.

Lindz and I at O'Dowds on the Plaza

So all in all, two incredible weekends in a row!

Love and prayers

Sarah

It's Been Too Long...Seriously

I've been slacking. Not slacking in life, but with this blog, definitely. Things have been crazy these past few weeks. There's been so much going on at school and at home that my poor blog has been neglected. No more!

School has been really wonderful so far. I've been enjoying my classes so much! I truly actually look forward to going each day. I mean, it doesn't hurt that I don't start before 11 except on Wednesdays...but that's Piano so it's totally worth the early wake up.

I'm absolutely in love with my house. I'ts so wonderful having a kitchen and so much space to just hang out and do whatever. I love my housemates, too. Frances, who I didn't even meet till move in, is an absolute sweetheart and Molly and Kelly are jsut crazy wonderful as always.
with my roomie!

As far as extracurriculars go, this is looking like a fairly busy and fun year. My heart pretty much belongs to Hawks for Life. We've had such an incredible turnout from this new freshmen class, the whole board is just stocked. I'm Service Chair this year, so I've been looking for some new ideas of various things we can do. I'm really hoping I can find some more active projects and such. The same old problems exist with the group, but we'll keep fighting through them. I was recently selected to serve on a committee (Center of Arts and Letters) by Senate. There haven't been any meetings yet and I have no idea what I'm doing, honestly, but it's just a new little adventure for me. Then there's CLC. I'm still in my group, The Creepers <3, but I'll be leading a group this year as well. I'll be finding out who my babies are this coming week and I just cannot wait to meet them all! I'm still in APO and have done Leftovers for Love. Can't wait to see what else I'll be doing to get my hours.

So basically I'm just looking forward to everything this year!

Just a quick little catch up. I'll be writing again extremely soon since I'm so far behind. Till then...

Love and prayers
~Sarah

Back at the Rock

It was difficult to leave home this year. I had such a crazy and fun summer. It's only been a week and I already miss the teens and my friends from home more than I can say. I even miss working at DQ. It was also so difficult because I spent so little time at home this summer. I was always running around and off to do the next thing, and the last month or so of summer I realized just how little time I had spent on my own or with my family. It's always difficult to come back to school at the end of the summer. I love my home and the people that come with it.

But now I'm back at RU. My second home. I feel such comfort here. I'm with my Rockhurst family, and I'm in my new house! This house is beautiful, by the way.

my room!

the lovely living room

I'm so excited about this semester and this year. I'm really looking forward to all of my classes and all the things I'm planning on doing. I really have a good feeling about this school year and I can't wait to see how things pan out. That's all for now...

Love and prayers

The Goodness of God's Plan

It can be difficult in times of despair and pain to see and understand God's love. For years I questioned His goodness. I witnessed so many bad things happening to people I loved dearly. Cancer, abuse, divorce, suicide attempts, death. I watched as people I loved were torn apart from the inside out by their circumstances.

And now, again, it's here. The fear, confusion, and numbness of a disease hurting someone I love. But I hold onto my faith in the goodness of God's plan. My dad is the strongest man I know, and I pray every day that he will return to health quickly. But I know that in whatever way God answers my prayers it is in accordance to His will, and what God wills is the greatest good we could ever imagine or hope for.

Love and prayers

Surface Level

I've never been much of a speaker. In conversation, I like to listen. I like to observe the way people present themselves, their body language, facial expressions, word choice, and just the way they interact with others. All of these things tell you so much about a person. Speaking, however, isn't my medium for expression. My mind and my mouth don't seem to communicate well. I can't articulate most of the things that I think, and most of the things I do say just seem to appear out of thin air. I don't think the words before, or even while, I say them, it's not until after I say them that I realize that I've said them. When I write, though, I can actually think about what I want to say. I can take the time I need to find the correct words and express them in a desired fashion. Writing is the only way I've ever been able to truly express myself and who I am. It's the only way I can get at least some of my thoughts out of my head accurately.

I feel things deeply. I believe things firmly. I think about things thoroughly. I try to look at things from every possible aspect. I'm capable of writing about all of this, but when it comes to speaking, the words just don't come. I don't seem to be able to talk about what I feel, believe, think, and see. I know a number of excellent speakers. They always seem to have the right words. When I speak, it's seems shallow. My spoken words only seem capable of scratching the surface of my thoughts.

This summer, as I'm sure you know by now, I've been spending quite a bit of time with the youth group...and I have felt completely useless! I feel like all I've done is hang out and been an ear for Melissa. I mean, it's important for people to have someone they can just talk to and I love to be that ear and I love just being with the teens, but I want to give more. I know that my spoken words need to go beyond the surface level they're on now for this to happen, I just can't figure out how to get my mind and mouth to sync up.


Love and prayers

Oh goodness, there is a horrible run-on sentence in that last paragraph...I'm ashamed.

Garage Sale Day!!! Buying for the House...I Swear

So today isn't actually Garage Sale Day I realize, but I've been garage saling twice this past week and I just felt like talking about the wonderful experiences for a moment. The first time it was just Melissa and me. Bad idea. Melissa will be living in an apartment this year and I'll be living in a house (OCH Northside!!!) so we were both just looking for "things." You know, just to start preparing for life. And we were being horrible influences on each other, encouraging each other to buy things we really don't need at all, but it was such fun. I think we both walked away with some pretty solid purchases. The second time wasn't nearly as fruitful, but still great fun. Pete, Sarah, Nikki, and I walked to one not far from Church, and I found a Johnny Cash record (yay!). Pete inspected a madonlin while we made funny of him (just a little bit) and then laughed at some of the ridiculous things in that garage. In the afternoon, Pete and I drove around looking for more, but it was so late we only actually found one. It wasn't a bad one, though. I got a game and some sweet lights...and a shelving thing FO' FREE! The guy just wanted to get rid of everthing. We also stopped for some "Local Honey", and let me just say, de-licious.

I really enjoy garage sale shopping. You never know what sort of treasures you'll find. Things that are worth next to nothing to the seller are practically priceless to the buyer...not necessarily priceless, but you know what I mean. You also get to see all kinds of different people and hear so many wonderful stories that go along with certain objects. It's all so fascinating.

Anyway, the other reason for this post...

I am SO excited about the house. I'm living with one of my best friends, another good friend, and a complete stranger...which could be weird but it could also work out beautifully. The house itself is great, too, pretty spacious and in good shape. I really feel like this is just another step in my progression and growth in life, another step towards independece and the future.

We'll have a washer and dryer so I don't have to keep quarters around at all times. We'll have a dishwasher so, I mean, yay. And I'll have a kitchen so I can bake and cook to my heart's content. Did I mention that I'm excited?

Women's Night, Session 4: Parents

"Our Lord forged your life, shaped you, made you within me."

Just as children are a gift to parents, parents are a gift to children. God creates our souls and forms our bodies, and our parents are the vessels through which He gives us life. He chooses our parents specifically for us...He gives us to each other.

The parent/child relationship can be...difficult. Most especially when we are teenagers. They won't let you wear the clothes you want, hang out with the friends you want, see the boy you like, watch the movies, etc., etc., etc. They place so many restrictions on us, give us so many rules, it seems that they really just "don't get it." But they do. They were teenagers too. The world has changed since they were young, but the rules that parents give their teenagers haven't much. Neither have the reasons. No, it's not because they want to make us miserable. To put it simply, it's because they love us. They want to protect us.

In the book When God Writes Your Love Story, by Eric and Leslie Ludy, Eric talks about God's "father-heart", how he cherishes and adores us, that he is only interested in our "highest good", and that God knows him better than he knows himself. He goes on to say that he had trouble trusting God because he "didn't truly know His nature and character". God is our Father, the Creator of our souls, and just as he cherishes us with his "father-heart", our parents cherish us. They only want what is best for us. We don't know what it's like to be a parent, we can't truly understand them or why they make the decisions that they make because we've never been their position. We just have to trust that they have our best interest at heart.

Unlike God, though, our parent's love isn't perfect. Sadly, they don't always do their duty or fulfill their responsibility to their children. They are supposed to protect us, provide for us, love us, and sometimes, they don't. But it doesn't matter. In Ephesians 6 it says "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother.' This is the first commandment with a promise, 'that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on earth.'" Proverbs 30: 17 says that "The eye that mocks a father, or scorns an aged mother, will be plucked out by the ravens in the valley; the young eagle will devour it." This last one is kind of...intense, but it get the point across: despite their weaknesses and flaws, our parents need and deserve our respect because it's what God commands and desires.

We, of course, cannot accept abuse in any form from our parents, but the vast majority of us are loved by them. In most cases, they are trying their hardest to do what they truly believe is best for us. If we can really just accept and appreciate this, then it might be easier to forgive them their faults and overlook some of the things they do that irritate us.

I've been very lucky with my parents. They've always provided everything that I needed and most things that I wanted (without really spoiling me). Though I don't know what exactly, I do know that they've done so much for me, sacrificed so much. I know I don't always show my appreciation to them, but I do always feel it. We've had our problems (I'm sure I've been a bit of a hand full from time to time), but for the most part, I feel that we've had a pretty good and open relationship. Of course, I get frustrated with them, just as they get frustrated with me. Something I've come to realize, though, is that a great deal of this frustration comes from a recognition of ourselves in each other. I believe this is true of most parent/child relationships. We see our parents in some of the things we say, think, and do. I'm not sure how it started, but for some reason this is terrifying and usually rather appaling. We swear we won't be like our parents, but, inevitably, similar characteristic surface. So we try to distance ourselves from them, whether physially, emotionally, or both. Likewise, parents see characteristics in us that they possess, or possessed when they were younger. Parents want their children to be better then they are or were, have better lives, and I think when they recognize some of their own weaknesses in their children they become frustrated and perhaps a little pushy because they don't want their children to make the same mistakes they made. They want their children to be better.

It's kind of lengthy, so I won't post the whole thing, but Sirach 3: 1-16 is a wonderful passage on "Duties toward Parents". I will, however, put the last few verses here as a closing...

"My son, take care of your father when he is old: grieve him not as long as he lives. Even if his mind fail, be considerate with him: revile him not in the fullness of your strength. For kindness to a father will not be forgotten, it will serve as a sin offering--it will take lasting root. In time of tribulation it will be recalled to your advantage, like warmth upon frost it will melt away your sins."

Love and prayers

(My mom is probably reading this with tears in her eyes...and she'll probably be upset with me for saying that)

A Sunday Night

The topic for this week's Women's Night was Parents. When we were planning the topics and order of these nights, Melissa didn't seem too keen on a night on parents, but I thought it was an important topic to cover...I really think that it's important for children to appreciate their parents and all they do. Unfortunately, this meant that I was the one leading the night. Yikes! I really am not a fan of speaking to or in front of people. It's not the attention that gets to me, though (as it used to be), it's more that I'm afraid that what I'm saying isn't really relevant, that they know it, that they've heard it, that I'm straight up wrong, that I just sound like an idiot, and so on. I'm also just not an organized person, my thoughts are ALL OVER the place so most of the time my words are as well. Oh well, I got through it, and I think it went alright...although now, of course, I'm thinking of all these things that I should have said or ways to say things better. Isn't that just how it always goes?

Some of the boys from the youth group (they call themselves AYMen...haha) were outside with popcorn and soda to share with us afterwards. We hung around for a few minutes, but then decided to go to ColdStone for ice cream. Let me just say, our teens are wonderful human beings. I really enjoy hanging out with the boys. They seem to firmly believe in chivalry, something that is sadly lacking from our world. It's not the kind of chilvary where they treat women like fragile things that can't do anything for themselves, though, it's more that they have a deep respect for women and simply desire to be kind, courteous, and thoughtful. It's really lovely to see young men who treat women this way and have such wonderful standards for themselves.
Rob, Joe, and Tim...our chivalrous young men? Oh yeah.

After this, the girls decided to go to Steak 'N Shake because, yes, we were still hungry. Oh goodness, what a time. I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard. Some absolutely ridiculous things happened and were said, and the three girls I was with got to hear my real laugh. I laugh...A LOT. But I have this one laugh that only comes out on very rare occasions, and it's, well, it's somethin' else and it's absolutely uncontainable. I'm sitting on my bed right now, feeling as if I just got done with an intense workout because of how hard I laughed. It was very much needed though. I've been working so much this week and I've just been feeling really stressed, but for the moment, at least, I feel wonderful.

I'm going to be writing another post right away for the sake of AYM Women, just about the topic of tonight's session. Of course, you're welcome to read it, but don't feel like you have to if you don't want to hear me talk about parents.

I know you won't actually be hearing me talk, but I didn't want to use 'reading' because it felt redundant and I hate redundancy in writing.

Love and prayers

Stumbling

I often stumble. Yes, metaphorically, I stumble. Yes, literally, I stumble even more. However, I'm not actually refering to either of these. I mean on the internet. Perhaps you've heard of Stumble because, unlike me, you're not completely oblivious and lost in your own mind. I just found out about Stumble at the very end of the spring semester from a freshman friend, and I've been pretty much addicted ever since. It's kind of sad how much time I've spent Stumbling, but it's just so much fun! I've found so many fantastic and ridiculous recipes (I really like to bake). I've discovered The Universal Packing List. There's a website of 300 love letters that this woman sent to complete strangers. I saw a picture of a gummy bear witch-burning...it made me giggle. I even stumbled (yeah) upon a knitting pattern for Nannerpus! Seriously, you find the most ridiculous and wonderful games, pictures, quotes, stories, jokes, videos, etc., etc., etc. You name it. And it's not like it's all crazy fun, either. I mean, you find serious news articles, educational sites, and Space Invaders! Okay, so that last one doesn't really fit into the serious side of Stumble, but how could I overlook this classic.

This post isn't really like my normal updates or random rantings, but sometimes I just like to rave about the wonderful things I've found when I've stumbled.

"A stumble may prevent a fall"
~English Proverb

...something I just Stumbled upon. Okay, sorry, I'm done now.

Love and prayers

What's Been Goin' On

• Last weekend I was on the Steubenville Youth Conference. I went as a chaperone with AYM, and what a beautiful experience is was. This was only my second time attending Steubie, but there seemed to be something special about this weekend...to me anyway. The teens seemed to be so filled with the spirit, they just bubbled over with a contagious joy. It's not like it's unusual for people to be abundantly joyful on retreats like this, but it was just beyond anything I'd ever witnessed. I'm really proud of the teens. They have so much courage and love. They've really embraced their faith, something I was no where near ready to truly do throughout most of high school. They struggle, of course, everyone does, but even through their struggles they just shine from His glorious light.
  On Steubenville

• Emily finally came home! She's been in Honduras for most of the summer, and I've been pretty nervous. There was a pretty big earthquake down there soon after she got there and then the military coup just a few days before she was supposed to be coming home, but she's here now. Readjusting has been (understandably) difficult for her. She's been in two completely different worlds, living two completely different lifestyles, and it's tough to find your way and reconcile them with each other. Personally, though, I couldn't be more excited. I just about tackled her to the ground in a Steak 'n Shake parking lot when we finally saw each other. Life just feels so right when Emily, Jenny and I are all together.
  

• So in the past week I have been to Grant's Farm 3 times. It's kind of completely ridiculous. The first time, we took my neices and nephew. It was a lot of fun, but it was REALLY hot. I got a free snocone, though (thanks Rob!), so it was totally worth it.

Joey, Megan, Taylor, and Colleen being kinda goofy

The second time I went with the youth group. We were supposed to play softball, but the fields were closed because it was kind of rainy so we just decided to go to GF. Also, a lot of fun, but we were yelled at for being loud...go figure.

The third time was with Chris Shaver and Kevin Becvar. We were just hanging out before Chris leaves for Denvar for the next year...also visiting Molly at work. She really appreciated all of our comments during the tram tour. All of the trips were bunches of fun, but it was just kind of ridiculous that I kept ending up there.
Kevin feeding a goat

• Finally, I went to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince...wow. It was intense and kind of hilarious. Though I am pretty upset about some of the changes that were made in the "book-to-movie" transition, I absolutely loved it and cannot wait to see it again. Yes, I know I'm a dork. It's all good.

I know there'a an overabundance of pictures in this post, but I'm a big fan of visual aids.

Love and prayers

Being Weak

We pride ourselves on our strength. From the beginnings of our lives we're taught that weakness is bad and strength is good. I've recently come to realize that quite the opposite is true. In 2 Corinthians it says that "power is made perfect in weakness." Weakness is an intrinsic part of the human condition, but for some reason we just cannot accept this. True strength is in recognizing our weaknesses, accepting them as a part of who we are. True strength is admitting that we can't make it on our own. It's depending completely on and trusting totally in God's grace.

"...for when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Corinthians 10

Thoughts Brought On By Women's Night

What has happened to young women? To little girls? To grown women? What has society done? Why do we let it continue?

As little girls we have such great dreams that are placed in our hearts by God. Little girls are filled with joy and hope, compassion and fairy tale visions. As we grow older we're introduced to society's vision of beauty and happiness. We become less and less content with our appearance and our life with each passing day and year. We notice more and more imperfections in our bodies, our personalities, our performance in school and sports, our relationships with friends and family, etc. As we get even older our bodies become even less beautiful in our own eyes, we don't have good enough jobs, and we're not satisfied with our romantic lives/families...or lack there of. Our culture tells us we're not skinny enough, rich enough, or loved enough.

After women's night, when we were on the playground, one of the teens asked why people (aside from old ladies) don't tell her that she's cute unless she says something. Earlier in the evening, many of the girls indicated that their self-confidence is based on others' (especially boys') opinions of them. I am , of course, prone to the same weaknesses that all women in our society are. I doubt my own beauty, appeal, ability, and intelligence. I question my future and wonder what others think of me. We all watch movies and TV shows, listen to music, read magazines and books that show us what our lives should be...what we should be. Is this enhancing the vision of femininity that God intended?

In the creation story God created Eve after Adam. Is this because men are better? Superior? They should come first? No. It's because man was not enough. He was not complete. He needed a feminine counterpart to be whole. God created woman with a perfect vision for her. A vision of love and compassion, great strength, joy, and beauty that travels past the skin, into the soul. Where has this vision disappeared to? Why does society cover it, destroy it, even, in so many women? I wish I knew. The more baffling and infuriating question, however, is why do we let society continue to destroy God's vision? To destroy the self-confidence, the dreams, the joy of little girls?

Everyone was formed the way they are by the hands of God, our Father. He created humans in His own, glorious image. Every woman is beautiful. That teen on the playground, she is beautiful. Despite what society tells us, the feminine spirit and form is a gorgeous thing that should not be altered, doubted, or stifled.

Women's Night 1

This past Sunday night was the first Women's Night for the youth group. I'm not sure how to begin talking about this...

Melissa and I were SO excited about it. I don't show excitement well, but I definintely felt the way that Melissa was acting. She just bubbled over with joy at what we were doing and our plans for these young women. Melissa has such an incredible gift when it comes to speaking about her faith and vocalizing her thoughts. I believe that God will touch the hearts of our teens through her and her words.

Melissa led the night. She spoke about how young girls are filled with such vast dreams, dreams that God intends for all women to have, how young women seem to have lost these dreams along their journeys, becoming broken beings of the world, and begged the question, what happens in between? Melissa spoke for awhile, the girls were given time for a self-examination, and we all discussed our thoughts. The teens also told us what they're looking for from our weekly women's nights, what issues they face and/or want talked about. At the end we just sat and talked for awhile. I turned on some music and we pretty much finished off all our snacks as we spoke. Once the teens were gone, Melissa and I discussed the night and started planning our future sessions. It ended with us, Pete, and two of the teens hanging out on the playground eating ice cream for a good long while.

Overall, it was an incredibly successful night. The teens seem to really be looking forward to next Sunday night, and I think they'll really get a lot out of it.

Melissa and I watching the ridiculousness of the others

"You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

John 8: 32

Father's Day Weekend

I know this was almost a week ago, but oh well...

Father's Day Weekend started out with nothing less than a wedding! I love weddings...getting all dolled up, dancing and laughing all day and night with your family, and, really, it's just such a beautiful, wonderful event. Weddings are such an incredible example of what this life is about. As humans we long to love and be loved, and then share that love with our family, friends, and, most importantly, with God.

Chris came in town to be my date for the event...and of course he was a fantastic one. He seems to have become very fond of my family, which tends to happen once you get past the intial crazy. I had such a wonderful time with him, my siblings, all my cousins, and everyone else. We laughed and danced and sang...and other such things that large Irish families do. My cousin, Melanie, the bride, was absolutely gorgeous, and the groom, Jeff, just glowed. I love watching the groom as the bride walks down the aisle. Jeff's face was completely alight from something deep inside, I could almost see his love for my cousin pouring out of him. It was a postively beautiful moment, and I thank God that, not only my cousin was blessed to have it, but that I was lucky enough to witness it.
Chris and I dancing

The day after this wonderful occurance was Father's Day, and what a day it was! Chris and I went to Laumeier Sculpture Park in the morning, but it was so terribly hot that we didn't stay for too long. We went to noon mass and then I took him down to Wash U to meet up with his sister to go home. My family gathered at an aunt and uncle's house in the afternoon to celebrate Father's Day. I can't go into detail about the happenings, but it definitely turned into one of our better parties. :)) Everyone had a great time, and I think it was a definite bonding experience for everyone involved.


Family is a blessing, appreciate and cherish it.

Love and prayers

Work Work Work

So far this summer my only relief from work has been the youth group. This week, however, a number of the teens, Pete, and Melissa are away on Project Life, a service retreat. I'm really excited for them, but I'm also very sad that I'm not there with them. It sounds like a such an incredible experience. Unfortunately, with all of them gone, most of our weekly events aren't happening, and all I've been doing is working. I'm still at Dairy Queen, and it's been wonderful. I normally end up covered in ice cream and strawberry topping, my back hurts whenever I do dishes, and when it gets busy I still worry about getting everything done properly. It's fun though. Working with Jenny is always the best, but all of the girls there are wonderful. Plus, it's almost never boring. My second job just started on Tuesday night too. This is my fifth summer working at the Muny Theatre. I had had no intention of returning this summer because honestly, I don't particularly like working there, but I can really use the extra money. My oldest niece, Taylor, plays in an orchastra that's been invited to perform at Carnegie Hall in the spring. I'm so proud of her, and I really want to go see her play. I need the second job so I can afford the plane ticket. I just keep telling myself that when I'm sitting there listening to her play it'll all be worth it. Anyway, this week has been pretty exhausting, I've been working everyday at at least one of my jobs. Hopefully things will settle down after this week, but I have a feeling once things start up with the youth group again, it'll just get crazier.

I have had a few fun times this past week and a half. I've gone shopping a couple of times. The first time with Jenny, we went shoe shopping. It was wonderful, I got three pairs of heels, gold, silver, and green. They're all gorgeous and I can't wait to wear them. The second time with my mom. I got some new tennis shoes and a pair of jeans. My two favorite things to buy! I also got to hang out with one of my best friends from Rockhurst, Molly. She came over and we just sat on the couch and talked for a good long time. She and my mom sort of ganged up on me at one point, which I didn't appreciate, but it was the first chance we've had to really catch up this summer so it was still great. I've missed all of the ridiculous moments we have on a daily basis at school. I saw her last night for a few minutes as well, along with her boyfriend, Kyle, who is another good friend. I was working an early night at the Muny and they were there for the show so I was able to talk to them at intermission before I left. It was great to see them, but unfortunately since I was still in my uniform I couldn't give them hugs...and I really like hugs.

Molly and me

My fortune, and maybe your's too

"Strange new experiences will add to your joy of living"

A Sigh

Sighs have recently taken on an entirely new meaning for me. I mentioned in my last post (which I realize was just yesterday) the Nooma video series. Well, one of the videos from this series that I've seen is entitled Breathe. I won't go into too much detail, but basically the guy talks about how some believe, because the Hebrew letters for God's name, YHWH, when said, are like breath sounds, that the sound of a breath is like saying the name of God.

A sigh is a very audible exhalation of breath, and since I saw Breathe I've become acutely aware of people sighing. It's like each one is a brief and unknowing prayer. In the midst of an arguement, disagreement, or something of the like, a sigh can be a quick prayer for patience. During a moment of contentment, a sigh is like a prayer of thanksgiving for the calm, for the inner peace. It's incredible. The sigh has completely morphed in my ears. It's like a song I've heard a million times before, but have never really listened to. I'm now picking up on the subtleties of the melody and the meaning behind the words.

Love and prayers

AYM and A YAM

AYM stands for Assumption Youth Ministry, my youth group. This summer I'm working on the core team, and I'm SO excited about it! We have a lot of fun things planned, aside from our weekly prayer nights. In July we're going to the Steubenville Youth Conference, we're hoping to take the teens on a float trip at some point (this will take quite a bit of planning and organization, but it would be totally worth it), we play softball every Tuesday afternoon, go to mass and then to Bread Co. for breakfast--we're calling it Daily Bread--on Wednesday mornings, and one of the other core memebers, Melissa, and I are planning girls' nights to strengthen fellowship among our teen girls. Our teens are truly wonderful young people, so filled with the Spirit. The opportunity to spend so much time with them is really a gift for me. They are teaching me so much and are really helping me to find God in my everyday life, and I pray that I'm a postive influence on them, as well, and help them strengthen their knowledge and faith lives. I really love hanging out, planning, and organizing things with the our Youth Minister, Pete, and the other members of the core team, too. They're all incredible, faith-filled people, and I'm learning so much from them. The most important thing I believe I've learned from my time with these young adults, as well as the teens, is that I'm on the right path to discovering God's plan for me. I know that I'm not nearly ready to fulfill His plan, I still have a lot of studying to complete, life experiences to have, and self-growth and faith-exploration to do, but I know I'm on my way. I'm a pretty reserved person most of the time, so it's been difficlut for me to really open up with all these people. This is probably my biggest obstacle to overcome, but I think I'm starting to work through it.

Me with a couple of my favorite teens

As for A YAM...Assumption Young Adult Ministry. This is a new thing that Pete is starting in our parish for adults in their 20's to help us deepen our relationship with Christ and hopefully with each other as well. We have a program called CONNECT that's going to take place this summer. We'll be getting together on Monday nights to watch the Nooma video series. After the video we'll have a discussion and then probably just hang out. I'm really very excited about this. I've seen a couple of the Nooma videos already and they really have caused me to look more closely at myself, my life, and my faith so I can't wait to see more of them. I'm also interested to see who comes and excited to meet and talk with other people my age looking to form and/or deepen their connection with God.

Aside from working and sleeping, my time thus far this summer had been majorly spent with (or for) the youth group, and, though I'll be sad to leave it in the fall, it has gotten me very excited for my next semester at Rockhurst. My decision to major in Theology is a fairly recent thing and I really can't wait to begin studying it more in depth. I don't want to only deepen my faith, I want to deepen my knowledge as well.

A parting thought...

"It's hard to take your socks off when your shoes are still on."

This is a statement from a camper that a friend of mine is working with at her summer job. He may be just a little kid, but he definitely has a point to ponder.

Goodbyes

I mentioned in my last post how sad it is to see my senior friends leaving school, but as I was thinking about it, saying goodbye isn't nearly as sad as I thought. Goodbyes can be difficult, painful even, but when you trully understand what it is, a goodbye can't really be qualified as "sad".

I've had to say some difficult goodbyes in the past. An old friend of mine is a marine and he was recently deployed for a second tour in Afghanistan. It's tough to say goodbye in this circumstance because it's accompanied by so much fear. People I've known who have departed this world for the next are always difficult because in these goodbyes one has to let go of the pain of loss while still holding on to the memory of them. One of my best and dearest friends, Emily, recently left for a six week service trip to Honduras. I'm so proud of her and what she's doing, but it was still arduous to let her go because summer is the only time we really have to spend in each other's presence at this point in our lives. One of the most difficult goodbyes I've ever had was with Emily and Jenny when we were leaving to start our freshmen years of college at three completely different schools. The three of us have had a very unique relationship. Nothing can ever end what we have, but it was still terrible to say goodbye because we couldn't be phsycially together anymore to help and support each other through everything as we had in the past, a tough realization for us. At the time, I thought this was one of the saddest moments of my life. And now I've said goodbye to the people who really, for me, made Rockhurst what it is. They were examples and models for us as freshmen. They introduced us to the ins and outs of the school. They were and are wonderful, spirited people who, though we'll still see sometimes, will be missed.

So what's changed in the past two years? Why am I no longer affected by sadness when faced with a goodbye?

I've grown and learned. I know something now about life's journey and God's plan (generally, not specifically). I know that every person I have to say goodbye to, no matter the circumstance, has their own personal path that they must take. At times our paths may intersect, for moments or for years, and at times they may run seperately. With some people, they may never intersect again until we enter eternity. How can I be sad, though, about someone I love following the path that God has laid for them? Even if they do stumble or leave their path, I have faith that they will find their way back. As long as I hold on to the memories we've shared and keep my love for them in my heart, how can I be sad about letting a person go so they can accomplish and see the great things that lay ahead of them?

Emily, Jenny, and I...one of the infamous pingpong table pictures

Chris Shaver, most rockin' senior!

Jon, Manny, and Kevin...a few other senior favs who will be missed

The Start of Summer

It's finally summer! It was a long and challenging year at Rockhurst, but now I get to just kick back and relax...sort of.

Summer has already been kind of crazy. I started a new job at Dairy Queen. I'm working with one of my best friends (Jenny) so it's a lot of fun, but making the perfect twist on top of the cones and sundaes is so much more difficult than you'd think. Oh well, I'll get it. I'm also on the core team with my youth group so I've been helping plan meetings and trying to keep the kids in line. Not easy, but worth it. Finally, there have been so many graduation parties! They're so much fun, but they're also a sign of some strange and rather difficult changes. It's sad to be losing my senior friends from school, Rockhurst just won't be the same without them. It's really odd to see my neice and cousins hit these landmarks, as well. It doesn't seem possible that everyone has grown up so much so quickly.

Taylor, my oldest neice, is starting high school in the fall

A few of my cousins and me

This weekend two of my good friends from Rockhurst, Chris and David, came in town. I've kind of missed them, even though we've only been out of school for a couple of weeks, so it has been fantastic hanging out with them. We haven't really done much, just stayed up talking and eating pizza, but simple times like that are usually some of the best and most memorable.

(Me, Chris, and David in the back)

That's all for now, but I'll update soon!